The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake memek all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I crot wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for crot caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, bokeh she rolled her eyes and bokep declared the woman an ‘actrice’, bokep or crot sex worker.

Now, memek according to this new study porn from the ever-liberal Swedes, bokep it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and bokeh all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokeh the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, memek you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: memek there’s sex as performance art, bokep and bokep sex as genuine intimacy. And memek when a bokep woman is genuinely aroused, bokeh trusts her partner and memek is not fearing for memek a fragile male ego, bokep she’s far more likely to gently sigh and bokep moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, bokep female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, crot they’d explain, memek bokeh so they could make their partner feel happy, memek while conserving their energy for bokep other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and bokep ‘manipulation’, porn and bokeh that women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, crot so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, memek the greater the chance the orgasm is bokeh being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: crot ‘I’m enjoying this, crot but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, bokep ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, bokep where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland bokep said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: memek ‘As far as I’m concerned, crot that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, bokep only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, crot Sex At Dawn, porn Christopher Ryan and bokeh Cacilda Jetha concluded porn the most likely reason women were noisy during porn crot sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and bokeh keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, crot I can understand porn the need to advertise. But if you’re not, bokeh then men should take heed: bokeh the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris